Waxing Philosophical

The welsh wind blew my wool scarf away. My braids secured with a frilly band freed itself and tumbled down, I swiftly ran my freezing fingers through to place them behind my ears...I didn't need a soothsayer to announce that winter had arrived in its freezing glory.



It made me think, seasons come, seasons go, time passes and you can't bring it back. I was young yesterday, today I'm older and will never be younger. The house I call mine will one day no longer be mine and my full brown hair will one day become grey. As a child I daydreamed about having lots of fashionable stuff, shoes, jewelry and fab clothes, some day far far away in the future, all that I have acquired I will have no need for. I can only pray that when that far far away day comes, people will remember me and smile...genuinely.


The thing about thinking like this is that it makes you wonder about how far you've come in life, have I achieved my dream, in the process or not even close, I'm I dating or have I've I married the prince charming I thot I'd marry or I'm I still single and waiting for him to arrive in his shining armour to sweep me away, have I started that business or have my ideas and talents taken me to the level I aspire to attain. Have I achieved my goals?


While some may be fortunate to have big fat yeses to achieving their goals, in the hearts of some wells grief wishing they could change the past.


Thinking like this makes you wonder why your friend with whom you played in the sand is high up the ladder while you are struggling to climb and maintain balance.


But then, I've found a solution to thinking like this. I remind myself that we have all boarded the bus called 'Life', and we have different bus stops and destinations. My friend may get to his/her destination before I get to mine, but If I endure the rickety roads, potholes and rough seats, I will definitely get to my destination and when I do I will have rest and fulfillment.


I do not wish to change the mistakes I made in the past, I will not wish away the difficult present, what I will do is see the future, strive towards making it a dream come true and call those things that be not as though they were.


I must also remember that fulfillment is not achieved my all that I acquire but the legacy I leave when I'm gone.


Abeg, pardon me for being so philosophical, I shall try not to be next time I update.


Its about 1 year and 5 months since I updated this blog, I apologise to everyone who's disappointed. My life has been busy with so many things taking up my time and thoughts, but now I have repented and I will update more often. My only fear is I might have lost followers of this blog who have also become friends. Anyways...God dey!


Luv always!



Holla Back

Untitled

The moment i arrived in the U.K the first thing that hit my consciousness was the cold. The second was the fact that everyone seemed to be coupled, cuddling, kissing or chatting. Even the birds and rabbits seemed to be in pairs. At that moment i realised i was alone, all by my self, away from everyone and everything i am familiar with. So i made up my mind to make friends and what an adventure it has been.

I moved into my comfy flat and was glad to meet new people, my flatmates. Nice and friendly they are and the chances of us being fast friends seemed sure until they dropped hints that they are lesbians. The nastiest sights i have seen is ladies french kissing, and it is now a sight i behold daily. The door to that friendship was immediately shut. When you've tasted the lips of a man, you cant just help thinking kissing a woman is crazy. LoL

So i met a group of three from class, interesting people and we became fast friends. But i eventually had to break off because i discovered the friendship wasn't adding to me or multiplying me, it was dividing and subtracting me. I wasn't growing. I mean, one of them doesn't even believe in God. My initial action was to try to change the person's mind and we would end up in ceaseless arguments. I then realised that i cant change a person, only God can do that. Since i just wasn't feeling the friendship anymore, because we weren't on the same realm, i put a full stop to it.

Then this guy came along and we became good friends. I finally felt i had a friend. We would chat and share thoughts and ideas, i would gist him about all the guys that make passes at me, we seemed to be on the same realm. Eventually sha, the guy says he's fallen in love with me. In luv ke? I immediately told him it cant work cuz i love someone else. My last post was about feeding attraction....i was chatting away about my friend, the same scenario seemed to be playing out around me. Anyway, we still remained friends but guy still keeps keeping faith that something will happen. Recently, i had to break off the friendship cuz it just is not healthy, it was a bit painful to do, cuz i enjoyed being friends with the guy.

I have tried making friends in church. The single ladies are after the single guys and any female new comer is seen as potential threat. The married ladies have glazed smiles as they eye their husbands to make sure they are not making eye contact will any lady. Women don't trust women, so the room for genuine friendship is slim.

My classmates want to be friends with me cuz they think in their words that i am smart, they need a 'machinery'. The black guys i have met want to be friends with me cuz they are looking for free food, and maybe more, which they can never get, by God's grace. The white guys i have met want to be friends with me cuz they think in their words that i am hot, lustiest set of people. The single ladies in church don't wanna be friends with me cuz they think i am a potential threat, if only they knew i am in a relationship already. Married women can afford to relax, because i believe what you sow is what you reap, what would i need a pot bellied married man for anyway?

Right now, i just dey. Everyman for himself and God for us all.

Dr. ONB, i have heeded your summons o, i dont want your green eyes (in your dreams) turning to red. LoL

I have titled this post Untitled because i cant think of any title. I'm open to suggestions.

Luv always.

Holla back!

Feeding Attraction

I got a disturbing call from my friend yesterday. She called and said, 'Bukenzo, there's fire on the mountain'. What's the story? I'll share with you, but first I need to apologise for deserting blogville for a while, I've just been trying to settle in this new environment and I wanna say a big thank you to ONB, 30+, Allied and everyone who has been kind enough to check up on me. I appreciate you so much. God will remember you for good this very minute.


So, about my friend. Lovely christian lady, she's to get married in a few months and preparation is in top gear, shopping and all. Her fiance is in Naija, she's here in UK, and recently she just met this guy who is making her have butterflies in her tummy.


She met this new guy and they've been friends, probably because she doesnt have many friends around, they are always together spending time. Apparently she likes the guy and enjoys his company, craves his calls and attention, and lately the atmosphere is always tense when they are together, you know...that crazy sexual tension. My friend claims she still loves her fiancee but now her mind is playing games on her because she is wondering if her fiancee is actually THE ONE.


The first thought that came to my mind was to scream at her and tell her she's crazy. ..but I did not. I mean, I had this male friend myself who was always coming around and before long, we would be talking and next he would be staring at me and the air will get tense with loads of funny energy. Good thing I was smart enough to draw a line immediately.


I didnt judge my friend because I could relate with her situation, but that didnt stop me from telling her the truth.


The fact that you are dating someone you love or you are married, does not mean you wont get attracted to other people and it doesn't mean we are terrible people. Its just the flesh manifesting itself. What makes us terrible is the inability to draw a line in relating with the opposite sex, if the circumstance is not healthy.


I used to be so self righteous and wonder why people cheat on their partners, but the truth is, the difference between those who cheat and those who don't is not that those who don't do not get attracted to other people, its just that they don't feed the attraction.


Now my friend is wondering if her fiance is truly THE ONE! Once you start feeding attraction, your mind begins to play games on you and you are wondering if its love. Cupid is a nuisance, he enjoys making fools of humans. Human beings gravitate towards attention, acceptance and care. And thats the problem with long distance relationships. If that person is not there, and someone else shows up and is persistent in giving attention, then there's fire on the mountain. Anyway sha, I told my friend in pidgin, make she no use her hand destroy the thing wey don better.


I have plenty gists but...I'll save it for latter posts. Its great to be back.

Holla back.


Luv always!

My Resolution and Prophesies!

In my secondary school days, I was an A class student, all the teachers loved me except my maths teacher. I was just a bad case at maths. My mind would wonder off in maths classes. It always seemed like my maths teacher was the main actor in a slow motion film, the clock always ticked slowly and I would while away time sketching his thick glasses, huge nose and heavy moustache.

So it was doomsday for me when the vice principal announced that any student who didn't pass both maths and english on credit level would not get promoted. English and other subjects were mincemeat but maths...!

Prior to the exams I remember begging God to do a miracle so that I won't be disgraced.

Well sha, we did the exams and gist started flying about that only 15 people in my class passed the maths exams. That day my heart kept pounding, my appetite was gone, at night my sleep was in snatches, then I would wake up and stare at the ceiling. I even put my Bible on my chest, hoping that would make God have mercy on my.

The following day, I was chilling in class when the class captain came in with a big grin plastered to his face. He claimed he just finished collating the maths results and only 10 people including him passed the exam. To my utter dismay, he started mentioning names and behold, my name was not mentioned.

The first thing that came to my mind was how I'ld inform my single parent - African soldier - Hardworking mum that I'ld be repeating a class. Then I wondered what people would say, Oh! the shame. The painful thing for me was, I was Brilliant! I was winning televised inter-school debates and all. So I made up my mind, got out of school, went to a drug store, bought some pills of Valium and decided to end it all.

I got back to school and swallowed the pills. Before I knew wassup, I was feeling groggy and funny. School staff took me home and luckily for me my aunt was home, she quickly called a doctor who advised that I be given lots of milk to neutralize the pills. I was given lots of milk and slept 48 hours straight.

When I woke, I felt awkward. My younger brother asked me if I had seen Jesus (LoL). I didn't know what my mum was gonna say, I couldn't look her in the face. She sat by me hugged me, thanked God for keeping me alive and told me something that changed my life, ' Obstacles and challenges stengthen our nerves and sharpens our skills, when we give up, we become failures'.

I got back to school , the results were finally released and I passed ( I'm still not sure if I really passed or if he math teacher was just being kind). My mum's words were written on my heart, I am not a Failure, I must never give up. She was my first mentor. Still is.

So I gained admission into the university and desperately wanted to study a particular course but I was given another. I was dissappointed, how many times had I begged God to make my dreams come true? I said God did not care and put my Bible under my bed, I was quarrelling with God. Then I met Sister Ruth and she assured me that the plans God has for me are way beyond my imagination, that he's got everything under control. Such true words! Sister Ruth was my second mentor.

Then the boys started coming, left, right, centre, saying sweet words and all that, but I clearly remember Pastor Bimbo's voice (RIP), cautioning relentlessly. Another mentor I will never forget.

Today, I look around and see youths blinded by circumstances, lacking in wisdom and understanding, so much like...cotton wool, lacking in substance. Truth is, we have few mentors around. Youths are left at the mercy of celebs, corrupt leaders and all such who leave questionable examples behind.

Being a mentor doesn't mean you have to be on teevee like Oprah. A kind word of encouragement or sound advice, motivation, leaving a good example, demonstrating values even when you think no one is watching. These, I think are what makes a mentor.

In 2008 I have made a resolution to be a mentor, I hope you will too.


MY PROPHESIES FOR YEAR 2008! (LOL)

N.B: The following prophesies will come to pass only by faith.


Allied: From 2008, your talents and qualities will be celebrated. You will not stand before mere men, you will stand before Kings.


30+: You will accomplish something great this year. This is your year of divine favour.


ONB: Something will happen to you this year that will make you weep for joy. Let go of hurt.


Pamela: Opportunities will come your way this year. People will go out of their way to please you.

Free2bme: God is moulding you into the best you can be. 2008 is your year of growth

...Pastors dey try o! Anyway sha, everyone in blogville, 2008 is our year of goodies o jare!

Hollla Back.


Luv Always!

What's worse than being single?

Q: What's worse than being single?
A: Being married to the wrong person or into the wrong family.

Madam A
You were an industrious woman, hardworking, a true african soldier. You left the shores on Naija to hussle for a greener pasture in the U.K, not for yourself alone, but for your husband and kids t have the good life. You washed dishes, washed toilets and did many many menial jobs to make ends meet, and the ends did meet. Your children went to the ebst schools in Naija, managed to buy a house in the U.K and even invited your husband over.

You husband! He saw how well you had done for yourself and began to devise a plot. He pushed you down the stairs of the house and you broke your spinal cord. He turned you into a vegetable so that he could inherit the house and all you had worked for. You didnt just become a vegetable, you became psychotic, and had to be kept in the hospital.

Your husband came to Naija, married another wife and threw lavish parties, he left you all alone.

Thank God for the association, they had an inkling what was happening and are now working on putting your husband behind bars.

Your mother Iya Olobi is now by your side taking care of you in the London hospital.

God sees all things and know all things.

Mr. T
You married late because you wanted to be comfortable enough to provide for your family. So you worked hard and made a small fortune for yourself and then got married to that lady who seemed to be all that. She gave you two lovely daughters. Those times were sweet, you lavished so much on her, bought her cars, built a house in her name and opened a store fr her. You did all these because you loved her. Then you got laid off at work and the fortune dwindled and eventually there was nothing left.

And then she changed. She started talking down at you, disrespecting you, keeping late nights and having strange men come over to pick her. You loved her so much, you begged her to change, to stand by you during the tough times, she tricked you into withdrwing your saving, all you had, so that you both could start a small business. She ran away with the money and dumped you and the girls.

You blamed yourself for being to gullible, how could this happen to you?

The times were hard. You struggled to keep the girls in school and hoped that fortune will again smile on you. And it did in a larger dimension. You got a better job and a bigger pay.

After 3 years f being gone, your wife returns claiming to be sorry and asking for forgiveness, but you know somewhere in your heart that it is another trick she is trying to pull off.

Everything is not as it seems.

Merry xmas Allied, 30+, Yankeenaijababe, orientatednaijababe, Pamelastitch, Mona and everyone. You guys have made blogville interesting for me.


Holla Back



Luv always!

Trusting

The Bible speaks of a 'great woman' who lived in Shunem. God gave her a son when she couldn't have one. Then suddenly in his twenties he dies. So she picks him up, puts him on a horse and carries him back to Elisha, whom God had used to announce his birth in the first place. Imagine what her neighbours must have thought as she passed by. 'It's over, bury him!' But not her. She refused to stop and get the opinions of faithless people, or discuss her situation with those who were unqualified to help. Be careful who you open up to in a crisis! Make sure they know God and that their words line up with His. The warranty hasn't expired on the promises God gave you. This woman believed that if God started it, He could finish it. If He made it, He could fix it. And how does her story end? Elisha stretches his body out on top of the dead boy's body and his corpse gets warm. Now that's good, but this lad needs more than just warmth; he needs new life. So Elisha stretches out on top of him again. This time the boy sneezes seven times and comes to life. What's the lesson here for you? No matter how bad things look stay on top of the situation! Keep believing God. Walk the floor and pray all night if you have to, but don't give up. Keep standing on the Word. Your dream may not be fully alive yet, but it's getting warm. Things are improving. God is moving. Your answer is on the way; don't give up until it arrives.


The excerpt above is from my aunt, wonderful lady! She sent it just when I needed it and am placing it because I want everyone to read and be blessed. I havent blogged in weeks because...i was frustrated, tired and fed up. You know how it is when you need God to do stuff and you cant seem to see results?, that's how i have been feeling. But lately I have learnt that God's speciality is making what seems impossible possible. Now, I am not frustrated anymore because I know when this phase is over, I am gonna testify!


Holla back.



Luv always!

The Monster and The Moon

As a young child, I remember sitting on the toilet seat staring at the wall and making images from the paint cracks. I would always see a monster in the wall, making faces at me and smacking. My wee-wee or poo-poo will immediately run away and I'll rush out of the toilet, shaking and unable to explain my predicament.

Then at night, when I am asleep the wee-wee will come back asking to be let out of my bladder. But then I'll remember the monster in the toilet wall and my body would refuse to be co-ordinated into standing up. Then comes morning and the bed is wet.

One fateful night, I had an experience that changed me. I went on a stroll with my aunt and as we walked I kept glancing up and noticing that the moon was going everywhere with me. When we got home, I asked my mum, " Why does the moon follow me everywhere I go? ", and she said, " Its because you are special and God is watching over you!"

After that, I would enter the toilet to wee-wee or poo-pooo and if the monster made faces at me, I would tell it to behave itself or else, I'll tell the moon to come and deal with it. Guess what? The monster is always afraid of the moon!

Over the years, I have seen that monster lurking around in my fear of failure, fear or uncertainties, fear of being broke, and several other fears. But I have been able to look the monster in its face and defend myself because I know the moon is watching over me.

That monster is fear and the moon is God.

Just in case that monster called fear is harassing you, creeping into your mind, putting you in a limbo and making you stagnant and frozen, remember that the monster is always afraid of the moon, and just harass the monster back!


Holla Back.



Luv always!

Heart or Boobs

People wassup! I've not been blogging for a while because i've been tied up with stuff. You know now, a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I am back, better, and more daring (the tittle of this blog is a testimony o).

So what's the issue today? The issue is guys and their INFANTILE REGRESSION PROBLEM. Guys and their obsession with boobs. It's funny you know, when a guy is a baby he gets to be breastfed for about a year, he gets to savour his dear mother's milk everytime he whimpers, and even wails loudly when he his denied. When he eventually becomes a big boy he still cannot stop fantasizing about boobs. Isn't that Infantile Regression?

If you think am lying, watch out for a group of guys discussing, they could have been discussing the unending rivalry between Arsenal and Manchester United or the current political drama in the House of Representatives featuring Madam Patricia Etteh, but as soon as a hot babe walks past, the discussion instantly changes to the size of her boobs. Isn't that Infantile Regression?

My friend BJ was gisting me recently of all the qualities a girl has to have before he can date her, and top on his list was huge boobs so that he can have something to lay his head incase he gets tired of the pillow or the duvet. Na wa o! Girls, should guys grow up or what?

I heard this joke about a brother who met this sister in church, he dated her for a few months and they got married. His major reason of marrying the sister was because he thought she had huge boobs. Behold on the wedding night! the brother discovers the sister has been wearing padded bras to cover up for not exactly huge boobs. Men! the brother didn't find it funny o. I wonder if he would now tell her to go and do a breast enlargement or something. Nonsense!

Now, this is my issue. Guys, a relationship shouldn't be about the boobs but more about the heart. Let's focus more on the contents than the container.

I know some guys are getting ready to argue this issue. I welcome your views.

And just incase you think this blog is about advocating for ladies with small boobs, or that it applies to me, then you are kidding yourself.

Holla Back.

Luv always.

When a guy is rich...

Recently, i have been observing the folly of some ladies who rubbish themselves, all because a guy is rich. They go to extreme extents to sink their claws into the pockets of the rich guy, backstabbing each other and making fools of themselves in all entirety. I wonder what happened to faith, patience and belief in potentials.

I also wonder why so many will rather be dependent than be independent. I sampled opinions and was mesmerized that the purpose of so many young ladies is to marry a very very rich guy. This they believe is the solution to all their life's problems.

Na wa o. These ladies do not have a purpose of their own o, they are parasites who do not want to do anything, but want to have all.

What am I trying to say? I am saying that, a guy does not have to be rich before you date him. If you have that menatlity, I am sorry for you. As long as a guy has potentials, harworking and resourceful, have faith in him, encourage him and pray for him.

However, I am going to tell you what happens when a guy is rich...

When a guy is rich
The home girl becomes a bitch
The church girl becomes a witch
All because the guy is rich.

So around him they flock like hungry fish
Seductive, cosmetic charm to unleash
But in time they turn rubbish
Ugly, useless scales of fish.

But our rich brother
Finds a wife and mother
Prettier and smoother
Than the wasted grandmother.

Tall, dark, rich and handsome
Might cost you a ransome
Love you should welcome
And a champion you become.

Holla back.
Luv always!

Do Something!

Hi folks.

I have really missed blogging and you guys too. Its just that i've been tied up with a couple of things.

If you are like me and you are conscious of your environment, I am sure you would have noticed the appaling rate at which poverty has eaten into the garment of our nation and indeed Africa as a whole. Its indeed very unfortunate that despite our many resources, citizens of this country still languish in an unbelievable state of poverty.

I can't help but wonder at the folly of the wealthy, who pay millions of dollars for a scrap of painting but won't donate a dime to charity to help millions of needy, helpless children. I can't help but wonder at the folly of so-called celebrities who find it hard to give back to the society. I refuse to wonder about what the government is doing, I have finally given up on the government.

I came across the pictures below via the internet and...I just kept wondering.



This winning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine.The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards an United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.The vulture is waiting for the child to die so that it can eat it. This picture shocked the whole world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken.Three months later he committed suicide due to depression.


This famine stricken person eats from the anus of an animal.


He also showers with the wee-wee of an animal.

If after reading this blog and seeing these pictures you don't know what to do, Thank God for whatever situation you are in, no matter how bad you think it is and DO SOMETHING FOR THE NEEDY, no matter how little you think it is.

God help us.

Holla back.

God's luv + mine.

Going Bonkers!

Hi people. I ain't gonna ask how you are doing because am sure you're doing great.

Hmm!

You guys wont believe the kind of experience I had recently.

I went to one shopping mall like that, I was just chilling when I noticed a guy come out in one correct jeep like that. I must confess that this guy was really looking 'correct'. From his watch, to his shoes, oh! I mustn't forget his sunglasses, fantastic!

Anyways, I checked out his shirt, and men! I dropped my jaws and picked it after 60 seconds. In front of his shirt were large prints which said 'PROUD TO BE GAY'.

OMG! In Naija? I was seriously shocked. It was indeed a loss to all the damsels.

Its really thought provoking you know. Its like trying to reconstruct nature. If you don't believe me imagine a male dog mating with a male dog or two hens flirting! Absurd abi?

A friend of mine was chatting with her 7 years old girl cousin, who had come from Yankee to Naija for holidays. My friend asked her cousin to mention the names of her friends back in Yankee and it turned out they were all girls. In a bid to tease her cousin, my friend asked how come she didn't have any friend that is a boy. Guess what her cousin said, my friend's 7 years old cousin said that she didn't like boys because they are so yucky, and she preferred girls because they are pretty, and that when she grows up she will be gay. What exactly are some parents doing?!

Na wa o! God is probably looking down and thinking the world has gone bonkers.

(Hope I don't sound like am judging, just expressing my self, no offence abeg!)

God help us.

Holla back!

Luv always.

Drastic Action!

Hi Folks.
Today, I don't feel very gay. You know the naija thingy now, every thing just gets to you once in a while, the corrupt system and all, plus your own personal issues. Anyway sha, God dey!

However, inspite of how I feel today, I have decided to take a drastic action to uplift my spirit and to inspire everyone who feels as low as I do right now.

The drastic action is Thanksgiving!
So...
1. I thank God for the fat rat in my dustbin, becuz it means I have food in abundance.

2. I thank God for the bumpy Naija roads. They've taught me life isn't a straight line graph.

3. I thank God for the nasty bus conductor. At least I have eyes to see him.

4. I thank God for when NEPA strikes. It has taught me to hope. Light will shine again.

5. I thank God for the guilt I feel in my heart when I do things I shouldn't. It means I have
a conscience.

6. I thank God for the times I face troubles. Those times have made me emotionally matured.

7. I thank God for people who don't know but think they know. They've taught me humility.

8. I thank God for friends I've lost. The loss has taught me to make God my friend.

9. I thank God for the cloudy sky, because somewhere there is a silver lining.

10. I thank God for those who think I can't amount to nothing. Becuz God is set to shock them.

Whao!
I feel much better all ready. What's that funny something you want to thank God for?
Holla Back!

Luv always.

D'banj or Tuface?

Hi folks.
I am going to start today's blog with a confession.
I like fine boys!
Now, 'Fine' in Bukenzo's dictionary doesn't just mean looks, its a combination of charisma, potential, panache, charm and you know...intelligence with the right attitude. Now, don't start judging me or anything, am just being truthful. Okay, let me make self clearer. Its not like I have a crush on, or trip for fine boys like that, I just admire them. Simple. Cuz I know someone is probably reading this blog now and thinking...
Anyways, I recently heard a conversation between about who is finer and more talented, Dbanj or Tuface? Wish you were there, but since you were not, i got excerpts for you.

Friend A: Dbanj is definitely the Koko. Why? because he is more refined and charming, plus he's got a very tight stage craft. He's been able to keep his passions in check, abi have you heard any pregnancy rumours about him flying around?
Tuface? we are not even sure he can construct a sentence in English without adding pidgin english. But Dbanj is just so so ...fine.

Friend B: Tuface is sure finer. Is it his fault that every girl wants a piece of him. Haba, never make the mistake of comparing Tuface and Dbanj, becuz they just are not in the same league. Dbanj is overly hyperactive, Tuface is more matured in everything, even his music is better. He is a charmer any day jare.

Lagos na wa! They sound like they are jobless abi?
But you know, realistically, who do YOU think is 'Finer' ? Holla Back!

Luv always.