Thursday, April 10, 2008

Feeding Attraction

I got a disturbing call from my friend yesterday. She called and said, 'Bukenzo, there's fire on the mountain'. What's the story? I'll share with you, but first I need to apologise for deserting blogville for a while, I've just been trying to settle in this new environment and I wanna say a big thank you to ONB, 30+, Allied and everyone who has been kind enough to check up on me. I appreciate you so much. God will remember you for good this very minute.

So, about my friend. Lovely christian lady, she's to get married in a few months and preparation is in top gear, shopping and all. Her fiance is in Naija, she's here in UK, and recently she just met this guy who is making her have butterflies in her tummy.

She met this new guy and they've been friends, probably because she doesnt have many friends around, they are always together spending time. Apparently she likes the guy and enjoys his company, craves his calls and attention, and lately the atmosphere is always tense when they are together, you know...that crazy sexual tension. My friend claims she still loves her fiancee but now her mind is playing games on her because she is wondering if her fiancee is actually THE ONE.

The first thought that came to my mind was to scream at her and tell her she's crazy. ..but I did not. I mean, I had this male friend myself who was always coming around and before long, we would be talking and next he would be staring at me and the air will get tense with loads of funny energy. Good thing I was smart enough to draw a line immediately.

I didnt judge my friend because I could relate with her situation, but that didnt stop me from telling her the truth.

The fact that you are dating someone you love or you are married, does not mean you wont get attracted to other people and it doesn't mean we are terrible people. Its just the flesh manifesting itself. What makes us terrible is the inability to draw a line in relating with the opposite sex, if the circumstance is not healthy.

I used to be so self righteous and wonder why people cheat on their partners, but the truth is, the difference between those who cheat and those who don't is not that those who don't do not get attracted to other people, its just that they don't feed the attraction.

Now my friend is wondering if her fiance is truly THE ONE! Once you start feeding attraction, your mind begins to play games on you and you are wondering if its love. Cupid is a nuisance, he enjoys making fools of humans. Human beings gravitate towards attention, acceptance and care. And thats the problem with long distance relationships. If that person is not there, and someone else shows up and is persistent in giving attention, then there's fire on the mountain. Anyway sha, I told my friend in pidgin, make she no use her hand destroy the thing wey don better.

I have plenty gists but...I'll save it for latter posts. Its great to be back.

Holla back.

Luv always!