Monday, December 24, 2007

What's worse than being single?

Q: What's worse than being single?
A: Being married to the wrong person or into the wrong family.

Madam A
You were an industrious woman, hardworking, a true african soldier. You left the shores on Naija to hussle for a greener pasture in the U.K, not for yourself alone, but for your husband and kids t have the good life. You washed dishes, washed toilets and did many many menial jobs to make ends meet, and the ends did meet. Your children went to the ebst schools in Naija, managed to buy a house in the U.K and even invited your husband over.

You husband! He saw how well you had done for yourself and began to devise a plot. He pushed you down the stairs of the house and you broke your spinal cord. He turned you into a vegetable so that he could inherit the house and all you had worked for. You didnt just become a vegetable, you became psychotic, and had to be kept in the hospital.

Your husband came to Naija, married another wife and threw lavish parties, he left you all alone.

Thank God for the association, they had an inkling what was happening and are now working on putting your husband behind bars.

Your mother Iya Olobi is now by your side taking care of you in the London hospital.

God sees all things and know all things.

Mr. T
You married late because you wanted to be comfortable enough to provide for your family. So you worked hard and made a small fortune for yourself and then got married to that lady who seemed to be all that. She gave you two lovely daughters. Those times were sweet, you lavished so much on her, bought her cars, built a house in her name and opened a store fr her. You did all these because you loved her. Then you got laid off at work and the fortune dwindled and eventually there was nothing left.

And then she changed. She started talking down at you, disrespecting you, keeping late nights and having strange men come over to pick her. You loved her so much, you begged her to change, to stand by you during the tough times, she tricked you into withdrwing your saving, all you had, so that you both could start a small business. She ran away with the money and dumped you and the girls.

You blamed yourself for being to gullible, how could this happen to you?

The times were hard. You struggled to keep the girls in school and hoped that fortune will again smile on you. And it did in a larger dimension. You got a better job and a bigger pay.

After 3 years f being gone, your wife returns claiming to be sorry and asking for forgiveness, but you know somewhere in your heart that it is another trick she is trying to pull off.

Everything is not as it seems.

Merry xmas Allied, 30+, Yankeenaijababe, orientatednaijababe, Pamelastitch, Mona and everyone. You guys have made blogville interesting for me.

Holla Back

Luv always!

Friday, December 7, 2007


The Bible speaks of a 'great woman' who lived in Shunem. God gave her a son when she couldn't have one. Then suddenly in his twenties he dies. So she picks him up, puts him on a horse and carries him back to Elisha, whom God had used to announce his birth in the first place. Imagine what her neighbours must have thought as she passed by. 'It's over, bury him!' But not her. She refused to stop and get the opinions of faithless people, or discuss her situation with those who were unqualified to help. Be careful who you open up to in a crisis! Make sure they know God and that their words line up with His. The warranty hasn't expired on the promises God gave you. This woman believed that if God started it, He could finish it. If He made it, He could fix it. And how does her story end? Elisha stretches his body out on top of the dead boy's body and his corpse gets warm. Now that's good, but this lad needs more than just warmth; he needs new life. So Elisha stretches out on top of him again. This time the boy sneezes seven times and comes to life. What's the lesson here for you? No matter how bad things look stay on top of the situation! Keep believing God. Walk the floor and pray all night if you have to, but don't give up. Keep standing on the Word. Your dream may not be fully alive yet, but it's getting warm. Things are improving. God is moving. Your answer is on the way; don't give up until it arrives.

The excerpt above is from my aunt, wonderful lady! She sent it just when I needed it and am placing it because I want everyone to read and be blessed. I havent blogged in weeks because...i was frustrated, tired and fed up. You know how it is when you need God to do stuff and you cant seem to see results?, that's how i have been feeling. But lately I have learnt that God's speciality is making what seems impossible possible. Now, I am not frustrated anymore because I know when this phase is over, I am gonna testify!

Holla back.

Luv always!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The Monster and The Moon

As a young child, I remember sitting on the toilet seat staring at the wall and making images from the paint cracks. I would always see a monster in the wall, making faces at me and smacking. My wee-wee or poo-poo will immediately run away and I'll rush out of the toilet, shaking and unable to explain my predicament.

Then at night, when I am asleep the wee-wee will come back asking to be let out of my bladder. But then I'll remember the monster in the toilet wall and my body would refuse to be co-ordinated into standing up. Then comes morning and the bed is wet.

One fateful night, I had an experience that changed me. I went on a stroll with my aunt and as we walked I kept glancing up and noticing that the moon was going everywhere with me. When we got home, I asked my mum, " Why does the moon follow me everywhere I go? ", and she said, " Its because you are special and God is watching over you!"

After that, I would enter the toilet to wee-wee or poo-pooo and if the monster made faces at me, I would tell it to behave itself or else, I'll tell the moon to come and deal with it. Guess what? The monster is always afraid of the moon!

Over the years, I have seen that monster lurking around in my fear of failure, fear or uncertainties, fear of being broke, and several other fears. But I have been able to look the monster in its face and defend myself because I know the moon is watching over me.

That monster is fear and the moon is God.

Just in case that monster called fear is harassing you, creeping into your mind, putting you in a limbo and making you stagnant and frozen, remember that the monster is always afraid of the moon, and just harass the monster back!

Holla Back.

Luv always!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Heart or Boobs

People wassup! I've not been blogging for a while because i've been tied up with stuff. You know now, a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I am back, better, and more daring (the tittle of this blog is a testimony o).

So what's the issue today? The issue is guys and their INFANTILE REGRESSION PROBLEM. Guys and their obsession with boobs. It's funny you know, when a guy is a baby he gets to be breastfed for about a year, he gets to savour his dear mother's milk everytime he whimpers, and even wails loudly when he his denied. When he eventually becomes a big boy he still cannot stop fantasizing about boobs. Isn't that Infantile Regression?

If you think am lying, watch out for a group of guys discussing, they could have been discussing the unending rivalry between Arsenal and Manchester United or the current political drama in the House of Representatives featuring Madam Patricia Etteh, but as soon as a hot babe walks past, the discussion instantly changes to the size of her boobs. Isn't that Infantile Regression?

My friend BJ was gisting me recently of all the qualities a girl has to have before he can date her, and top on his list was huge boobs so that he can have something to lay his head incase he gets tired of the pillow or the duvet. Na wa o! Girls, should guys grow up or what?

I heard this joke about a brother who met this sister in church, he dated her for a few months and they got married. His major reason of marrying the sister was because he thought she had huge boobs. Behold on the wedding night! the brother discovers the sister has been wearing padded bras to cover up for not exactly huge boobs. Men! the brother didn't find it funny o. I wonder if he would now tell her to go and do a breast enlargement or something. Nonsense!

Now, this is my issue. Guys, a relationship shouldn't be about the boobs but more about the heart. Let's focus more on the contents than the container.

I know some guys are getting ready to argue this issue. I welcome your views.

And just incase you think this blog is about advocating for ladies with small boobs, or that it applies to me, then you are kidding yourself.

Holla Back.

Luv always.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

When a guy is rich...

Recently, i have been observing the folly of some ladies who rubbish themselves, all because a guy is rich. They go to extreme extents to sink their claws into the pockets of the rich guy, backstabbing each other and making fools of themselves in all entirety. I wonder what happened to faith, patience and belief in potentials.

I also wonder why so many will rather be dependent than be independent. I sampled opinions and was mesmerized that the purpose of so many young ladies is to marry a very very rich guy. This they believe is the solution to all their life's problems.

Na wa o. These ladies do not have a purpose of their own o, they are parasites who do not want to do anything, but want to have all.

What am I trying to say? I am saying that, a guy does not have to be rich before you date him. If you have that menatlity, I am sorry for you. As long as a guy has potentials, harworking and resourceful, have faith in him, encourage him and pray for him.

However, I am going to tell you what happens when a guy is rich...

When a guy is rich
The home girl becomes a bitch
The church girl becomes a witch
All because the guy is rich.

So around him they flock like hungry fish
Seductive, cosmetic charm to unleash
But in time they turn rubbish
Ugly, useless scales of fish.

But our rich brother
Finds a wife and mother
Prettier and smoother

Than the wasted grandmother.

Tall, dark, rich and handsome
Might cost you a ransome
Love you should welcome
And a champion you become.

Holla back.
Luv always!

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Do Something!

Hi folks.

I have really missed blogging and you guys too. Its just that i've been tied up with a couple of things.

If you are like me and you are conscious of your environment, I am sure you would have noticed the appaling rate at which poverty has eaten into the garment of our nation and indeed Africa as a whole. Its indeed very unfortunate that despite our many resources, citizens of this country still languish in an unbelievable state of poverty.

I can't help but wonder at the folly of the wealthy, who pay millions of dollars for a scrap of painting but won't donate a dime to charity to help millions of needy, helpless children. I can't help but wonder at the folly of so-called celebrities who find it hard to give back to the society. I refuse to wonder about what the government is doing, I have finally given up on the government.

I came across the pictures below via the internet and...I just kept wondering.

This winning photo taken in 1994 during the Sudan famine.The picture depicts a famine stricken child crawling towards an United Nations food camp, located a kilometer away.The vulture is waiting for the child to die so that it can eat it. This picture shocked the whole world. No one knows what happened to the child, including the photographer Kevin Carter who left the place as soon as the photograph was taken.Three months later he committed suicide due to depression.

This famine stricken person eats from the anus of an animal.

He also showers with the wee-wee of an animal.

If after reading this blog and seeing these pictures you don't know what to do, Thank God for whatever situation you are in, no matter how bad you think it is and DO SOMETHING FOR THE NEEDY, no matter how little you think it is.

God help us.

Holla back.

God's luv + mine.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Going Bonkers!

Hi people. I ain't gonna ask how you are doing because am sure you're doing great.


You guys wont believe the kind of experience I had recently.

I went to one shopping mall like that, I was just chilling when I noticed a guy come out in one correct jeep like that. I must confess that this guy was really looking 'correct'. From his watch, to his shoes, oh! I mustn't forget his sunglasses, fantastic!
Anyways, I checked out his shirt, and men! I dropped my jaws and picked it after 60 seconds. In front of his shirt were large prints which said 'PROUD TO BE GAY'.
OMG! In Naija? I was seriously shocked. It was indeed a loss to all the damsels.

Its really thought provoking you know. Its like trying to reconstruct nature. If you don't believe me imagine a male dog mating with a male dog or two hens flirting! Absurd abi?

A friend of mine was chatting with her 7 years old girl cousin, who had come from Yankee to Naija for holidays. My friend asked her cousin to mention the names of her friends back in Yankee and it turned out they were all girls. In a bid to tease her cousin, my friend asked how come she didn't have any friend that is a boy. Guess what her cousin said, my friend's 7 years old cousin said that she didn't like boys because they are so yucky, and she preferred girls because they are pretty, and that when she grows up she will be gay. What exactly are some parents doing?!

Na wa o! God is probably looking down and thinking the world has gone bonkers.
(Hope I don't sound like am judging, just expressing my self, no offence abeg!)

God help us.

Holla back!

Luv always.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Drastic Action!

Hi Folks.
Today, I don't feel very gay. You know the naija thingy now, every thing just gets to you once in a while, the corrupt system and all, plus your own personal issues. Anyway sha, God dey!

However, inspite of how I feel today, I have decided to take a drastic action to uplift my spirit and to inspire everyone who feels as low as I do right now.

The drastic action is Thanksgiving!
1. I thank God for the fat rat in my dustbin, becuz it means I have food in abundance.

2. I thank God for the bumpy Naija roads. They've taught me life isn't a straight line graph.

3. I thank God for the nasty bus conductor. At least I have eyes to see him.

4. I thank God for when NEPA strikes. It has taught me to hope. Light will shine again.

5. I thank God for the guilt I feel in my heart when I do things I shouldn't. It means I have
a conscience.

6. I thank God for the times I face troubles. Those times have made me emotionally matured.

7. I thank God for people who don't know but think they know. They've taught me humility.

8. I thank God for friends I've lost. The loss has taught me to make God my friend.

9. I thank God for the cloudy sky, because somewhere there is a silver lining.

10. I thank God for those who think I can't amount to nothing. Becuz God is set to shock them.

I feel much better all ready. What's that funny something you want to thank God for?
Holla Back!

Luv always.

Monday, August 6, 2007

D'banj or Tuface?

Hi folks.
I am going to start today's blog with a confession.
I like fine boys!
Now, '
Fine' in Bukenzo's dictionary doesn't just mean looks, its a combination of charisma, potential, panache, charm and you know...intelligence with the right attitude. Now, don't start judging me or anything, am just being truthful. Okay, let me make self clearer. Its not like I have a crush on, or trip for fine boys like that, I just admire them. Simple. Cuz I know someone is probably reading this blog now and thinking...
Anyways, I recently heard a conversation between about who is finer and more talented,
Dbanj or Tuface? Wish you were there, but since you were not, i got excerpts for you.

Friend A: Dbanj is definitely the Koko. Why? because he is more refined and charming, plus he's got a very tight stage craft. He's been able to keep his passions in check, abi have you heard any pregnancy rumours about him flying around?
Tuface? we are not even sure he can construct a sentence in English without adding pidgin english. But Dbanj is just so so ...fine.

Friend B: Tuface is sure finer. Is it his fault that every girl wants a piece of him. Haba, never make the mistake of comparing Tuface and Dbanj, becuz they just are not in the same league. Dbanj is overly hyperactive, Tuface is more matured in everything, even his music is better. He is a charmer any day jare.

Lagos na wa! They sound like they are jobless abi?
But you know, realistically, who do YOU think is
'Finer' ? Holla Back!

Luv always.