Friday, May 16, 2008


The moment i arrived in the U.K the first thing that hit my consciousness was the cold. The second was the fact that everyone seemed to be coupled, cuddling, kissing or chatting. Even the birds and rabbits seemed to be in pairs. At that moment i realised i was alone, all by my self, away from everyone and everything i am familiar with. So i made up my mind to make friends and what an adventure it has been.

I moved into my comfy flat and was glad to meet new people, my flatmates. Nice and friendly they are and the chances of us being fast friends seemed sure until they dropped hints that they are lesbians. The nastiest sights i have seen is ladies french kissing, and it is now a sight i behold daily. The door to that friendship was immediately shut. When you've tasted the lips of a man, you cant just help thinking kissing a woman is crazy. LoL

So i met a group of three from class, interesting people and we became fast friends. But i eventually had to break off because i discovered the friendship wasn't adding to me or multiplying me, it was dividing and subtracting me. I wasn't growing. I mean, one of them doesn't even believe in God. My initial action was to try to change the person's mind and we would end up in ceaseless arguments. I then realised that i cant change a person, only God can do that. Since i just wasn't feeling the friendship anymore, because we weren't on the same realm, i put a full stop to it.

Then this guy came along and we became good friends. I finally felt i had a friend. We would chat and share thoughts and ideas, i would gist him about all the guys that make passes at me, we seemed to be on the same realm. Eventually sha, the guy says he's fallen in love with me. In luv ke? I immediately told him it cant work cuz i love someone else. My last post was about feeding attraction....i was chatting away about my friend, the same scenario seemed to be playing out around me. Anyway, we still remained friends but guy still keeps keeping faith that something will happen. Recently, i had to break off the friendship cuz it just is not healthy, it was a bit painful to do, cuz i enjoyed being friends with the guy.
I have tried making friends in church. The single ladies are after the single guys and any female new comer is seen as potential threat. The married ladies have glazed smiles as they eye their husbands to make sure they are not making eye contact will any lady. Women don't trust women, so the room for genuine friendship is slim.
My classmates want to be friends with me cuz they think in their words that i am smart, they need a 'machinery'. The black guys i have met want to be friends with me cuz they are looking for free food, and maybe more, which they can never get, by God's grace. The white guys i have met want to be friends with me cuz they think in their words that i am hot, lustiest set of people. The single ladies in church don't wanna be friends with me cuz they think i am a potential threat, if only they knew i am in a relationship already. Married women can afford to relax, because i believe what you sow is what you reap, what would i need a pot bellied married man for anyway?

Right now, i just dey. Everyman for himself and God for us all.
Dr. ONB, i have heeded your summons o, i dont want your green eyes (in your dreams) turning to red. LoL

I have titled this post Untitled because i cant think of any title. I'm open to suggestions.

Luv always.

Holla back!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Feeding Attraction

I got a disturbing call from my friend yesterday. She called and said, 'Bukenzo, there's fire on the mountain'. What's the story? I'll share with you, but first I need to apologise for deserting blogville for a while, I've just been trying to settle in this new environment and I wanna say a big thank you to ONB, 30+, Allied and everyone who has been kind enough to check up on me. I appreciate you so much. God will remember you for good this very minute.

So, about my friend. Lovely christian lady, she's to get married in a few months and preparation is in top gear, shopping and all. Her fiance is in Naija, she's here in UK, and recently she just met this guy who is making her have butterflies in her tummy.

She met this new guy and they've been friends, probably because she doesnt have many friends around, they are always together spending time. Apparently she likes the guy and enjoys his company, craves his calls and attention, and lately the atmosphere is always tense when they are together, you know...that crazy sexual tension. My friend claims she still loves her fiancee but now her mind is playing games on her because she is wondering if her fiancee is actually THE ONE.

The first thought that came to my mind was to scream at her and tell her she's crazy. ..but I did not. I mean, I had this male friend myself who was always coming around and before long, we would be talking and next he would be staring at me and the air will get tense with loads of funny energy. Good thing I was smart enough to draw a line immediately.

I didnt judge my friend because I could relate with her situation, but that didnt stop me from telling her the truth.

The fact that you are dating someone you love or you are married, does not mean you wont get attracted to other people and it doesn't mean we are terrible people. Its just the flesh manifesting itself. What makes us terrible is the inability to draw a line in relating with the opposite sex, if the circumstance is not healthy.

I used to be so self righteous and wonder why people cheat on their partners, but the truth is, the difference between those who cheat and those who don't is not that those who don't do not get attracted to other people, its just that they don't feed the attraction.

Now my friend is wondering if her fiance is truly THE ONE! Once you start feeding attraction, your mind begins to play games on you and you are wondering if its love. Cupid is a nuisance, he enjoys making fools of humans. Human beings gravitate towards attention, acceptance and care. And thats the problem with long distance relationships. If that person is not there, and someone else shows up and is persistent in giving attention, then there's fire on the mountain. Anyway sha, I told my friend in pidgin, make she no use her hand destroy the thing wey don better.

I have plenty gists but...I'll save it for latter posts. Its great to be back.

Holla back.

Luv always!

Friday, January 18, 2008

My Resolution and Prophesies!

In my secondary school days, I was an A class student, all the teachers loved me except my maths teacher. I was just a bad case at maths. My mind would wonder off in maths classes. It always seemed like my maths teacher was the main actor in a slow motion film, the clock always ticked slowly and I would while away time sketching his thick glasses, huge nose and heavy moustache.

So it was doomsday for me when the vice principal announced that any student who didn't pass both maths and english on credit level would not get promoted. English and other subjects were mincemeat but maths...!

Prior to the exams I remember begging God to do a miracle so that I won't be disgraced.

Well sha, we did the exams and gist started flying about that only 15 people in my class passed the maths exams. That day my heart kept pounding, my appetite was gone, at night my sleep was in snatches, then I would wake up and stare at the ceiling. I even put my Bible on my chest, hoping that would make God have mercy on my.

The following day, I was chilling in class when the class captain came in with a big grin plastered to his face. He claimed he just finished collating the maths results and only 10 people including him passed the exam. To my utter dismay, he started mentioning names and behold, my name was not mentioned.

The first thing that came to my mind was how I'ld inform my single parent - African soldier - Hardworking mum that I'ld be repeating a class. Then I wondered what people would say, Oh! the shame. The painful thing for me was, I was Brilliant! I was winning televised inter-school debates and all. So I made up my mind, got out of school, went to a drug store, bought some pills of Valium and decided to end it all.

I got back to school and swallowed the pills. Before I knew wassup, I was feeling groggy and funny. School staff took me home and luckily for me my aunt was home, she quickly called a doctor who advised that I be given lots of milk to neutralize the pills. I was given lots of milk and slept 48 hours straight.

When I woke, I felt awkward. My younger brother asked me if I had seen Jesus (LoL). I didn't know what my mum was gonna say, I couldn't look her in the face. She sat by me hugged me, thanked God for keeping me alive and told me something that changed my life, ' Obstacles and challenges stengthen our nerves and sharpens our skills, when we give up, we become failures'.

I got back to school , the results were finally released and I passed ( I'm still not sure if I really passed or if he math teacher was just being kind). My mum's words were written on my heart, I am not a Failure, I must never give up. She was my first mentor. Still is.

So I gained admission into the university and desperately wanted to study a particular course but I was given another. I was dissappointed, how many times had I begged God to make my dreams come true? I said God did not care and put my Bible under my bed, I was quarrelling with God. Then I met Sister Ruth and she assured me that the plans God has for me are way beyond my imagination, that he's got everything under control. Such true words! Sister Ruth was my second mentor.

Then the boys started coming, left, right, centre, saying sweet words and all that, but I clearly remember Pastor Bimbo's voice (RIP), cautioning relentlessly. Another mentor I will never forget.

Today, I look around and see youths blinded by circumstances, lacking in wisdom and understanding, so much like...cotton wool, lacking in substance. Truth is, we have few mentors around. Youths are left at the mercy of celebs, corrupt leaders and all such who leave questionable examples behind.

Being a mentor doesn't mean you have to be on teevee like Oprah. A kind word of encouragement or sound advice, motivation, leaving a good example, demonstrating values even when you think no one is watching. These, I think are what makes a mentor.

In 2008 I have made a resolution to be a mentor, I hope you will too.


N.B: The following prophesies will come to pass only by faith.

Allied: From 2008, your talents and qualities will be celebrated. You will not stand before mere men, you will stand before Kings.

30+: You will accomplish something great this year. This is your year of divine favour.

ONB: Something will happen to you this year that will make you weep for joy. Let go of hurt.

Pamela: Opportunities will come your way this year. People will go out of their way to please you.

Free2bme: God is moulding you into the best you can be. 2008 is your year of growth

...Pastors dey try o! Anyway sha, everyone in blogville, 2008 is our year of goodies o jare!

Hollla Back.

Luv Always!